Stephanie Salveter—Age 50, St. Louis, MO
My name is Stephanie, I just turned 50 a few weeks ago and have never really wanted to have my own children. That doesn’t mean I don’t love babies, but I’m lucky enough to have friends who’ve had them that I get to love on whenever I want. It was just never something that was making my clock run fast.
My sister and brother were born when I was 12 and 14, respectively. I’d always bugged my mom to have a baby for me (she was a single mother until she got remarried when I was 8), so when they came along my dream came true! It also gave me a bit of the “real life experience” that comes along with having children. Changing diapers and trying to figure out why they were crying may have been just two of the things that made me start thinking about how children could affect my life.
As I got older and more conscious of what was going on in the world, I thought a lot about what the future would bring to my own children. First, could I even afford to have a baby? Even with a spouse helping to support one, everything that comes along with having a child can cripple a person’s financial situation. Second, what if my significant other left or worse, died? How could I raise a child on my own? My own mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother did it, so certainly I could, but was I strong enough, and would I have the resources? And third, back to their future - do I even WANT to subject them to what they’d be walking in to as a teen, adult, parent themselves, etc? I chose to remain childless and rely on my friends kids to give me the fix I need sometimes. Now, as I enter the second half of my life and see what our political climate is throwing at us and how a lot of the population of the US (and further, the world) is reacting to it in a very un-thoughtful and uneducated way, I fear for generations behind me. We have become a world of sound bites, memes, and reality television. Very few adults spend time learning about their government, local or national, and rely on the “news” to inform them of who is the best candidate, whether the climate change is real, or how half of the population of this world is put in jeopardy because women’s health care concerns are not being addressed.
This leaves me hoping that people like those that you’ve been interviewing, having house parties with and who are testifying are aware of the fact that THEY are the ones we need to have children. They are bright and intelligent and thoughtful and beautiful people who, I know, will raise their kids to be just as bright and intelligent and thoughtful and beautiful as they are and will bring this planet back “on-line” and make the future something they would want to live in and raise their own children to carry on.
I guess my message is that, when the time comes to contemplate parenthood, be a little bit selfish and think about all the things that it will affect in both your life and the lives of those around you. And always remember, generations ahead of and behind you will be counting on you to do the right thing.
