Shannon O.—Age 38

People are still shocked when they ask why I don’t have children, and I tell them “for environmental reasons.” People will laugh, and some will actually be offended. Women and men who choose not to have children for these reasons are often criticized and judged harshly by others. I still don’t understand this. Sometimes I’m called “selfish.” That really confuses me!

I was so excited to find this group! I am a 38 year-old woman in a long-term relationship (19 years), and I do not have children. From the time I was old enough to even think about it (early teenage years), refraining from having children just seemed like the right thing to do. I remember looking at the world around me and thinking, “Almost every problem I see in the world (political, social, and especially environmental) seems to be tied to population growth.” My parents and grandparents would talk to me about their childhoods, and they seemed so different. They talked about small towns and local stores. Although I like to think of myself as a “city girl” and don’t have a desire to return to some perceived “golden era,” it did make me realize how much population growth has shaped the world and changed its commerce and environmental health in the twentieth century alone.

So, I decided no kids for me. I was surprised that people thought that was such a radical idea! My family would humor me, thinking that once I grew up I would change my mind. I never did. When I first started dating my boyfriend, I told him immediately that I did not want kids. He was taken aback, but as time moved on and we talked more about it, he came to the same conclusions as myself. He said that he always assumed he’d have children, just because “that’s what you do.” It never occurred to him to consider whether or not he actually wanted them. I’ve since found that true of many parents–although of course they’re happy with their families, they never even considered not having kids. They never thought of it as an option.

I’m lucky in that I have never had an overwhelming maternal desire to have children. However, even if I did (or will in the future), there are always children already born that need homes. I understand that motherhood is vitally important for some women, and every individual has to do what’s best for him or herself. Still, it’s so nice to come across an organization like this that addresses the issue. People are still shocked when they ask why I don’t have children, and I tell them “for environmental reasons.” People will laugh, and some will actually be offended. Women and men who choose not to have children for these reasons are often criticized and judged harshly by others. I still don’t understand this. Sometimes I’m called “selfish.” That really confuses me!

Thank you for giving individuals in my position a voice and for taking us seriously!