I think it's too late—Kate, Age 43

I am 43 years old. My husband and I have been married for six years. We live in the UK. I know he wants kids and would make an amazing father. I have always been a bit ambivalent about kids for many reasons, yet I probably would have done it, at least for the sake of my partner. However, for the last few years I have felt a crushing sense of climate anxiety which has put me off the idea of kids. I sway between hope/ activism and doom/ despair.

This mix of feelings is reflected in my social circle. I have friends who are actively preparing their kids for a frightening future and those who have limited the number of children or chosen not to have them for climate reasons, and on the other I have friends with young children who blithely continue to fly, consume madly and don’t seem to acknowledge the seriousness of what we face. I feel like screaming in their faces when another birth is announced, or when I see them flying off with babies in tow for yet another long haul holiday. Can’t they see what is coming? If all this makes me sound a little angry, perhaps that’s true. I am furious with politicians, the fossil fuel industry, and wealthy nations for continuing down this path without appreciating the seriousness of the situation. I cry with rage when I think of the animals and people who are suffering now, and can’t even think of how I will feel in 20 years time if this pathway is not changed. That doesn’t seem like a good environment for a kid! Hence, childfree by reason of climate breakdown, I guess. Or perhaps adoption seems like a good option. I am sad for my husband, I don’t think this is what he wanted.